Wifey Material: Tips on How to Attract the Right Guy
I remember when I was thrown into the dating scene in my early twenties I didn’t exactly have a clue what it meant to be a lady. Since I was a teenager, the way I spoke, what I wore, how I carried myself, was all so I could get a guy’s attention. I really thought I was being cute, funny, desirable. I bought what the world was selling believing, “This is what guys want.”
Sure, it amused them for a short time but I wasn’t getting the results I wanted. I got so lost I forgot what it meant to really love someone. God had to pull me back and say, “I’m going to show you what it means to be a lady.” He opened my eyes and I saw guys react in a way that I never noticed before. Disgusted, annoyed, embarrassed even. I had a lot to learn about what it meant to be lady, what guys call “wifey” material. This process didn’t happen overnight but I was willing. Here are some things he showed me:
~Watch what you say- I’m going to break this down in 4 categories:
1) Talking about personal hygiene- I know we may think it’s funny talking about personal issues like our monthly friend, shaving our pits, or any bathroom issues. Believe me when I say, it turns guys off. It’s a topic you want to stay away from unless you and your friends are having a sleep over.
2) Cursing- Yeah, I know you think it’s cute. However, a guy who’s really into you will not take you home to meet his Momma when you have a potty mouth. When you are in the habit of cursing, it’s bound to slip. Think about it this way. If you walked into an interview for a job and started dropping the f-bomb, do you really think you are going to get hired?
3) Drama- Yes, this means gossip amongst other things. Even if the guy won’t say anything to you in person, chances are he’s writing you off. People get tired of drama, fighting, the constant going back and worth with words, bringing people down. A sweet spirit wins over diva attitude any day.
4) Jokes that are sexual in nature- I used to make sexually suggestive jokes or turn an innocent comment into something totally inappropriate just so I could get a laugh. However, when God started to change my heart I noticed that these remarks made a lot of people uncomfortable. I was able to see that not just in myself but also when other people would do it. You can still be funny and appropriate at the same time.
~Leave room for Jesus- From what I have seen, the latest dance moves are closer to imitating acts of lovemaking rather than actual dance moves. Dancing is a big part of my life so believe me when I say you can still be the life of the party without having to hump your partner. So, leave room for Jesus!
~You can still be attractive and wear clothes that fit you- I had to learn how to dress because most of my clothes showed some sort of skin or would be so close to showing too much that it was uncomfortable to move in a normal humanly fashion. If you are constantly pulling at your clothes, look at every gust of wind with fear in your eyes, or can’t bend over without your outfit ripping in half, then I suggest you change. The amount of skin shown doesn’t raise your level of fashion; it actually lowers it.
~P.D.A./Sexually stimulating behavior- Giving yourself away either in public or private is a sure way to stay single. Regardless of what the world says or shows on TV, the right guy will not find this behavior attractive. You deserve better than just being someone’s entertainment.
These are just a few things to be aware of. This is what the world will glorify but if you are trying to find the right partner and walk according to God’s word then these behaviors must change. Like I said, it didn’t happen overnight. “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit” (2 Cor. 3:18). Strive to be better because you deserve better. In Jesus’ name!
Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn’t know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God’s Word is eternal and has no age limit!