Updated March 13, 2018
PORNOGRAPHY AND YOUNG WOMEN: 3 Ways to Help Battle This Addiction
When anyone thinks of pornography, more often than not, they associate it with men. It’s rare to hear a woman say they have a problem with it mostly because there tends to be a double standard when it comes to sex and women.
It can be harder for a woman to open up about temptation or addiction to pornography.
However, the more experiences I have in counseling young women the more I see that pornography is not just an issue with guys. For the same reasons men encounter temptation and addiction, many women are also dealing with the same.
Pornography is a major problem because it creates an image of sex that is twisted, perverted, and just way off from the original design God intended
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his WIFE, and they shall become ONE flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were NOT ASHAMED” (Gen. 2:24-25, emphasis mine).
The key words here are wife (under covenant protection meaning marriage), one (not with many lovers either throughout life or during a session with your spouse), and not ashamed (sex was created for babies and bonding so there should be no shame when making love to your spouse). Pornography doesn’t represent any of these things. You are essentially bonding yourself with the images and whoever is on the screen, which makes it no different than real life.
I was first introduced to pornography around the age of nine or ten. I remember sleeping over a family member’s house and she (that’s right SHE) had access to a channel where after a certain time shows became pornographic. We would stay up late watching these shows and the images are still embedded in my mind. Later on in my relationships, pornography became part of my sex life.
The realization of how destructive and poisonous pornography didn’t become evident until I got married.
Being in a committed godly relationship showed me the true meaning of intimacy and sex. I didn’t want to share that experience with images on a screen or anyone else. I just wanted my husband.
For those ladies out there who are suffering from the bondage of pornography, you need to start asking yourself some questions.
“How can I help myself? How can I battle this sexually immoral practice? Do I have the power to overcome this sin for good?
Let’s take a look at some helpful thoughts and ways to help you get started on your path to freedom:
1) It HAS BEEN defeated–
When you are in the midst of your sin, it can seem like there’s no way out and you will NEVER be able to overcome it. Well there’s good news! Not only can you overcome these battles but also keep in mind that ultimately the war has been won through the death of Jesus Christ.
Start walking in the freedom without the shackles of pornography holding you down.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Cor. 10:13)
2) TELL someone–
This may be one of the hardest battles to overcome but you HAVE to tell someone you trust who is someone of the same gender, who is strong in Christ, and can be a mentor/accountability authority in your life.
Pornography is such an isolating sin that it can hold people down for years.
It’s amazing the release you will feel when just ONE other person knows. If you keep this to yourself, it will come out eventually so its better that it happens on your terms and where you can fix it without hurting someone else like your spouse.
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:16)
“For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.” (Luke 8:17)
3) Help YOURSELF–
Eventually people aren’t going to be around and you’re going to find yourself alone with your computer, TV, phone, or whatever device you use to view pornography. So what do you do?
The key is to think ahead.
If you know there is a time (either late at night or when you know you’re going to be alone in the house) where you are most tempted, think ahead, plan accordingly, and find your strength in the Lord.
- Put a filter on your computer so you can safely navigate the Internet without the threat of pornography. (www.internetsafety.com, www.covenanteyes.com, www.netnanny.com)
- Give your device to your parents/care giver before going to bed.
- Let someone know ahead of time so they can text or call you during that time to help keep you accountable.
- Think of other things that will keep you busy like cooking or taking up a hobby.
- Load up your phone or computer with images of scripture or play worship music.
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Prov. 16:9)
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phillip. 4:13)
Pornography is definitely not something to be taken lightly. It is a terrible disease that will infiltrate every area of your life and will eventually follow you into your marriage if you don’t deal with it now.
Sexual purity is not just before you get married but continues on until the end of your time.
It may seem overwhelming to think about but if we shift our focus on Jesus then there’s nothing we can’t do, “….Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you” (Matt. 17:20).
I pray today, right now, will be the beginning of turning your face away from pornography and towards the Almighty King.
“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.” (Psalm 119:37)
He loves you so much and when we ask for forgiveness, He will forgive us. Regardless of how far we think we’ve gone, His arms are always waiting to renew, restore, and redeem.
Basket of Blessings!
Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn’t know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God’s Word is eternal and has no age limit!