Christian Teen Dating: Is He The One? 5 Christian Courting Questions

Christian teen dating usually comes with many questions. “Is he the one?” is definitely one of those top questions. Christian courting questions are many and healthy to ask. Honestly, “How do you know?” Asking questions is a fair practice in the labor of finding love.

This is a fair question in this crazy world of meeting new people, starting to date, and in your journey to remain sexually pure. It can be stressful and confusing. When the heavens have seemed to open up and shine in your direction, it’s only natural to wonder. How do you know?

I don’t believe there is any ONE way to know.

We are all different and God speaks to us in different ways. There are stories of love at first sight, best friends turned romantic, blind dates turning into marriage, successful online matches, and so on.

Whatever way God has written your personal love story, there are definitely some guidelines to think about and questions to ask yourself.

Christian teen dating is specific in that it is Christian. There is the added element of God and what He has to say. All in all, when you ask, I believe the Lord does answer.

Christian Courting Questions

1) Are you in the Word of God?–

I ALWAYS go back to the Word my brothers and sisters because there is NO way around it. This is where you learn about God, His Voice, His ways, His leading, so you are prepared to know which direction and with whom God wants you to go with and when is the right time to do so.

If you don’t know what God’s voice sounds like it will be very difficult to discern (understand, see, know) all these things and other questions you may tucked away in your heart.

Get to know Him!

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” (Psalm 119:105)

2) Does he or she line up with the Word of God?–

When you begin to hear stories about the “heros” of the bible and the heart they had for God, can you look at this person and say without a doubt that their heart is for Him? Yes we are imperfect, yes we make mistakes, but does this person have a sincere heart along with the action of moving and changing in the direction they need to go?

If they are selling drugs, if they are heavily drinking, cheating on you or on someone else with you, then the bottom-line is, they are NOT for you! Yes, they need healing and restoration but not at the expense of your spirit or your safety.

“Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1)

Yes this can include someone who is trying to preach you a different standard than what God has for you.

3) Is he or she a Christian?–

This is vitally important part of God’s standards and for good reason. I’m not talking about, “Well they know who God is..” or  “Their father is a Pastor…” (<– one of my favorites) or “They believe in something they just don’t know what..”

The proof is in the fruit.

Remember if you are sick, in an accident, going through hard times, you will NEED someone who knows how to pray for you. My hubby is the most attractive when he prays for me. (I’m being real!) You may think, “Oh I don’t care about that!” Trust me you will want someone who knows how to go to the throne of God in emergencies.

You also don’t want to be tempted by God’s people if you choose to marry an unbeliever. The presence of Jesus Christ in someone’s life will be an unhealthy attractive quality when you don’t have that at home.

Protect your legacy now by aligning your heart with one of God’s men.

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14)

4) Did God give you an answer?–

When I saw my hubby for the first time, I heard God say, “Imagine you are looking at your future husand.” I didn’t believe it at the time but married now I look back at that time and smile.

Did you receive a message like this? Have you felt God has spoken to you about any one person? If you do or have, give it time.

Allow God to confirm it to you more than once and seek counsel.

If you haven’t heard anything like this, it’s okay. Ask God for clear direction to the person that will be your lifelong partner whether you feel they are already in your life or not.

Trust His answer. You may not always agree with it but you will see later why things turn out the way they do.

“Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” (Eph. 5:17)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isa. 55:8-9)

5) Are YOU the “one”?-

In order for God to bless you, you need to be in a healthy place to be blessed. If you are still healing from past wounds, dealing with childhood issues, or are involved in destructive habits, get to a place of healing and restoration.

We will never be at a perfect place but we can be in a healthy place. 

Start with you. Ask the Lord if you are ready to receive the person He has for you. If not, how can you get to a place where you can take care of the blessing He has for you? This way when that person does walk into your life, you will recognize them and care for them the way the Lord calls us to.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matt. 6:33)

 

These questions are meant to be conversation starters between you and the Lord. He knows you and your situation intimately. Whether or not you feel as if you have a better idea of knowing who’s the “one”, remember to breath, relax, and of most importance, take your time. God is a God of peace. If you feel rushed into something, you feel your heart is grieving, or are really questioning this person in your life, then it maybe time to rethink the relationship. Here are some other articles in helping you through this process:

http://teensexualpurity.com/7-types-of-dating-to-avoid/

http://teensexualpurity.com/abuse-7-signs-you-may-be-in-an-abusive-relationship/

http://teensexualpurity.com/10-quick-questions-to-separate-mr-right-vs-mr-right-now/

Baskets of Blessings!

Nina Daugherty