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I Lost My Virginity: Can I Still Be Pure? 16 Quick Truths You Need to Know

     Nina Daugherty      8 Comments

I Lost My Virginity: Can I Still Be Pure? 16 Quick Truths You Need to Know #christianblogger #christiansingles #christiandating #christianrelationships #christianyoutuber

I Lost My Virginity: Can I Still Be Pure? 16 Quick Truths You Need to Know

Do you regret losing your virginity before marriage? The effects of losing virginity before marriage can cause someone to question their decision to have done so. Actually, the biggest question and defense I’ve heard against teaching abstinence is, “What about those who already lost their virginity? How would it make them feel?” It seems as if educators, parents, and a majority of people really believe purity is just for virgins and excludes the non-virgins. This is the biggest lie surrounding purity.

[click_to_tweet tweet=”Purity is both for the virgins and non-virgins. @NinaSlay4Christ” quote=”Purity is both for the virgins and non-virgins. @NinaSlay4Christ”]

“I just lost my virginity…”

Sin doesn’t give us the okay to give up. Bad decisions can’t hold us hostage to where now we have to make more bad decisions. Christ annihilated that excuse when He died on the cross. He gives us everything we need to choose differently. Purity is a non-negotiable.

I know the world thinks purity is “old-fashioned” but we work off the heavenly kingdom where purity is God-fashioned.

How to live a life of purity:

Are you tired of getting the same results? Are you tired of having a reputation and want to start over? Do you need rest?


<CLICK on the Video for more on this topic!>

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Cor. 5:17)

When you go to www.blueletterbible.org and search within the interlinear/concordance (fancy words for getting the Hebrew or Greek equivalent to the specific word you are looking up), when it describes “in Christ” you will see it refers to a relation of rest, a breath.

What a beautiful gift given to us when we surrender our lives to Him, we get so much more in return.

How many of us need a breath? A break from our past and people’s words? Freedom from those people we were intimate with and no longer want to be a part of?

When you aren’t a virgin anymore, you can feel like you are striving to get back what you lost, fix your reputation, change, or you stop caring altogether and start filling that whole with even more toxic behavior. All of which we need a breath from

When we are in Christ, we can rest in His identity rather than what people identify us with.

We are a new creation in Him.

Digging into the words “new creation”, we find what so many desperately seek. A new start. You will find the definition to include synonyms like recently made, fresh, recent, unused, unworn, unheard of. Unheard of. What a blessing to have when we have done so much we are ashamed of. To think, we don’t have a reputation in the Kingdom of God. Eternity is now. Therefore, we can live eternally in the reputation the Lord has set for us by His sacrifice.

Did you ever look at someone and think to yourself, “I wish I was them”? Did you ever wish no one knew who you were?

I remember looking at the good girls in my school and wanting to be them. I wanted to be what they called “wifey” material. People often reminded me I wasn’t that. I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t know any different. I was subject to my own knowledge and wisdom which was crafted by the world. I felt tarnished and acted through this identity.

God gives us a new identity. It’s the foundation by which we can choose and act differently.

With new identity comes new behavior.

Yes, it requires our participation. When we agree to accept Jesus Christ into our life, when we accept His identity, then we accept what He is calling us to do. Just like when you join a soccer team, enter into a new school, or get hired, we are accepting the training, the rules, the authority, and anything else associated with that particular thing. It’s the same with Jesus Christ.

[click_to_tweet tweet=”Purity is a non-negotiable in the kingdom of God.” quote=”Purity is a non-negotiable in the kingdom of God.”]

When we look deeper into the words “passed away”, we find some gems. “Passed away” refers to “of persons moving forward, to be led by, to be carried past”. “Carried past” stood out to me the most.

When I think of this, I think of all the romantic movies (WARNING: Girly gush moment approaching). The image of the hero carrying his love away from the danger. I also think of my babies. Carrying them was either because they wanted comfort, they were too tired, or because they just wanted to be in my arms.

Carrying is leaning on someone else’s strength when we are too tired or can’t go on.

How stunning for us to have that in our Savior.

Not only do I see “carried past” but also “of persons moving forward”. We are no longer there. We are striving for more and all because the Creator of the universe says we can. Regardless, of what anyone thinks.

Now we need to look at some truths when it comes to purity so we can better understand what it means to be pure, the elements surrounding it, and who purity is for.

[click_to_tweet tweet=”When we understand the why, then we are motivated to search for the how.” quote=”When we understand the why, then we are motivated to search for the how.”]

Importance of purity:

1. Purity is for everyone-

It doesn’t matter how old, how many partners, married, divorced, what race, what economic status, purity is for everyone and excludes no one.

2. Purity is challenging but worth it-

Just like anything that takes work, a career a job, an art piece, choreography, winning a championship, it takes work. Putting in the training and executing Godly behavior will reap major benefits.

<CLICK, PRINT, and LAMINATE to keep where you can SEE it!>

3. Purity is Godly-

God requires it and its established through His Person meaning His strength, His resources, His love, His affirmation, and His resources. It’s a Godly call to be pure.

4. Purity is love-

While sex demands self-gratification, purity demands Godly love. Sacrificing pleasure until its appointed time will bring you to the true definition of love and not the other way around.

5. Purity is biblical-

A few authors of the bible focused on purity in their letters. Why? Because our bodies are included in the promise of salvation on this side of eternity.  It matters what we do here. Our bodies are not exempt.

6. Purity is honoring-

It honors God, your parents, the people in your life, your body, and the other person. People are affected by your decisions not just you.

7. Purity is an option away from sinful behavior-

It gives you the ability to do other things. Sex can be consuming when it’s not in its proper boundaries. Purity allows you to choose different every time.

8. Purity is a testimony-

It shouts to the gods of this world the commitment we have towards Jesus Christ. It sets apart. It shows people other ways of living and brings comfort in knowing life can be lived differently and not at the mercy of sexual behavior.

9. Purity is healing-

It gives the space to heal, restore, redeem, and refocus. It allows us to walk away from the past and provide hope for the future. It gives the okay to not have to be sexual.

10. Purity is safe-

It keeps us from entering into dangerous situations and keeps us on guard from people who wish us ill will. It draws the Godly boundary in our lives so we can truly enjoy a life more abundantly.

11. Purity identifies but is not an identity-

It is a sign of a heart postured toward God but if lost at any moment cannot take away the identity of who you are in Him. It is simply part of a compass redirecting your heart towards His.

12. Purity is part of The Lifeline-

When the world wants to suffocate you with how they think you should behave, dress, pursue, or talk, your dedication to Jesus Christ can be the foundation and reason for ignoring their deceptive grasps.

13. Purity is part of your legacy-

It can show a whole generation what Godly relationships, Godly marriage, and a Godly family looks like. Even if you and your spouse weren’t pure before your kids were born, you still have a chance to show them what purity is like within a marriage.

14. Purity is a decision-

It doesn’t matter if you had 1 or 1,000 partners. It doesn’t matter if you just finished sexual behavior or if it happened last week. Purity is a decision that can be made at any time and is timeless.

15. Purity is yours-

People don’t have to understand it, they may not agree with it, and they might even make fun of it. However, purity is YOUR decision.

16. Purity is God-fashioned

God is eternal and His ways will never go out of style. It is a God given design set before the beginning of time. Other people, religions, or practices may try to claim and redefine it but it has been and always will be God’s.

Remember, a couple of the foundations at your disposal are 1) knowing your identity in Christ (see 2 Cor. 5:17 and some of the breakdown above) and 2) knowing the Word of God (another non-negotiable; see the video linked in this post for more info).

I pray these quick truths will be just the beginning in understanding why purity is important and how it can help you break free from your past.

 

Baskets of Blessings,

Nina D.

Married and Young: 10 Prayers to Pray Over Your Husband or Wife

     Nina Daugherty      11 Comments

Married and Young:
10 Prayers to Pray Over Your Husband or Wife

**Please note this post may contain affiliate links and ads. If you purchase from these, the teensexualpurity.com ministry might receive a small commission from your purchase that will not affect your cost. Thank you for your support in this much needed ministry!** 

Young Christian marriage thrives on the prayers of the husband and wife. It’s important to know how to pray for your spouse. One thing marriage will definitely teach you is how to pray. I say that with a smile because I know this from experience. When the guests have long gone home, you have opened all your gifts, your tan is fading from the honeymoon, and the wedding celebrations are over there you two are. If you didn’t have the experience of living together already, then you are in for a few surprises.

You are both unveiled to each other not just in the bedroom but in everyday life.

This means the toothpaste either tastes different or is squeezed differently. You’ll find out who is the messiest, who likes to take long showers, who doesn’t like washing the car, and all these fun little tidbits you may have otherwise paid no attention to during the dating phase.

In the beginning, it may be cute, something to laugh at or poke fun at, maybe talk about it while out with friends, but when times start to get tough it might not seem so cute. All of a sudden, these little things become part of the pile of dirty laundry that starts to smell if it’s not taken care of periodically.

Side Note: Please be aware and ask for wisdom when it comes to abusive behavior. Hitting, cursing at, demeaning, degrading, and any other form of abusive behavior is never okay and needs to be dealt within the safety of your support group. Jesus Christ would never want you in a life-threatening situation. Also, abusive behavior is not just male to female. It can also be female to male. Seek help.

Truth: There’s nothing wrong with being married young.

<CLICK on the link to watch our latest video, “Untold Truths About Being Young and Married”>

In fact, I will promote young marriage any day of the week. There are so many positive elements to being married young that I will probably do a follow-up post to this one about it. You will know this too if you know the Word of God and what IT has to say versus what the world wants you to believe.

Truth: You don’t have the luxury of not knowing the Word of God especially in marriage.

Sin is magnified and has deeper consequences when it’s done within a marriage because the world is watching along with little eyes if children are involved. This is not to scare you away from marriage but to put the emphasis on how powerful the covenant of God is. The enemy will seek to destroy every aspect of it through not just your generation but also through the generations that are coming up through you.

Truth: You don’t have the luxury of not knowing how to pray for your legacy and it starts with your marriage.

Praying and marriage must go hand in hand otherwise you are leaving open doors for spiritual warfare in your home. Praying must be constant, real, and done through the power of Jesus Christ.
Here are some prayers to start with. They can be your guide when you don’t even know what to pray for because either your hurt is too deep or your mind is too full. I also pray they can be proactive prayers. Prayers that will set the foundation for your marriage before the storm comes and that’s honestly how it should be set up.

Feel free to not just pray these prayers together but also during your individual prayer time.

<Feel free to print and laminate for personal including spouse use only>

1) Pray for the healthy space needed to grow (2 Cor. 3:18)-

This does not mean needing a break from each other in the sense that you separate from each other. This may mean letting the person walk away for a time either in the next room or go out to take a walk to process their feelings. It might mean letting them talk to their Christian support group of men or women alone so they have the ability to be open and honest without the threat of hurting your feelings. Pray for the space where feelings are processed and knowledge is attained to better your marriage.

2) Pray for the right Christian support group for both you and your spouse (Psalm 1:1)-

Who you both talk to you is so important, it can bring death or life to your marriage. In the last part of the scripture stated above it states, “…nor sits in the seat of scoffers;” and this part of the scripture many young and marrieds either miss or don’t even know. Scoffers are people who make fun of something and not just in a playful way but with contempt and bitterness. Marriage is not held with honor in this world. If we bring our marital problems to these kind of people, we can almost guarantee it will be death.

3) Pray for the time where either one or both of you are being molded (Prov. 27:17)-

Molding, although needed to be transformed into God’s design for our lives, can be painful. It can also be humbling, embarrassing, painful, and pull out all kinds of negative feelings. Pray for your husband or wife during this time so they can endure and be all God has equipped Him to be. Change is not easy. We don’t want to be puffed up with pride during their molding. We want to be patient and loving.

4) Pray for patience (Rom. 12:12)-
If you have been a Christian for a while, you will often hear, “Don’t pray for patience because God will put you in situations where you will need lots of it.” However, this is such a needed prayer. In this Instagram worthy world, where we see everyone’s highlight reels and not the process they went through in order to achieve certain successes. We can assume everything is achieved immediately including awesome marriages. If our marriage doesn’t measure up, we have the “right” to find someone else who will. This is not the case. Marriage takes time to mature and praying for patience will help combat those times where we feel like nothing is happening.

5) Pray for the work needed to help cultivate a fruitful marriage (Gal. 6:9)-

Cultivating is the work it takes to make marriage a fruitful and beautiful thing. It causes you to problem solve, focus in, figure out what works and what doesn’t, knowing what kills the fruit and what makes it grow, and all these other things which add to the growth and health of a marriage. Time is a gift given to us by the Lord because we take time both in and out of marriage. Don’t be afraid of the work, be afraid of staying the same.

6) Pray for the different seasons of your marriage (Eccl. 3:4)-

Marriages will go through all types of seasons and the reality is this is life in general. There will be times of growth, there will be times of mourning, there are times of celebrating, times of rejoicing, resting, you name it. Pray for the different seasons and be aware when you are either entering or leaving one. Pray for the wisdom to know the difference, how to handle them, and for your marriage to grow stronger rather than weaker.

7) Pray for your friendship (Prov. 18:24)-

Yes, you can be friends. In fact, friendship is part of the fruit and harvest. Your spouse should be your BFF. People spend hundreds of dollars in therapy to get great communication skills with their spouse. Most people have misconceptions about it. Just because you are friends doesn’t mean your sex life automatically becomes boring. Marriage is the real definition of friends with benefits. The world always wants to twist God’s gifts and the definition of marriage, sex, and friendship are just a few of the many.

<Feel free to print for personal and spousal use>

8) Pray for your sex life (Gen. 2:24)-

Oftentimes, there are hurts or previous traumas that can hinder a sexual relationship with your husband or wife. Pray for these times. Sex is a gift given to us from the Lord and it is part of His original design. This is why He talks about it in the first book of the Bible. It was intended to bond, bring forth life, and enjoyment. Sexual enjoyment didn’t happen after the fall. It’s not something the devil created. The devil doesn’t want us to enjoy anything let alone intimacy with our spouse. Pray for the time to be intimate, pray for protection over your intimate time, pray for purity in marriage so it doesn’t hinder your intimacy or break trust, and pray for the enjoyment of your spouse.

9) Pray to lean in on your identity in Christ when you are going through challenges with your husband or wife (Heb. 4:16)-

You are going to go through challenges in marriage. The key component which separates a married couple in Christ and couples who don’t know Jesus Christ is Jesus Christ. A spouse can become someone’s world and identity. If that world comes crashing down, so does the person. Our identity must always be in Jesus Christ first. It will help sustain us when we go through trials. It will help us be reminded of who we are when we feel less than. Marriage challenges our inner belief system about who we are. It won’t always match up to how your spouse feels about you and this is part of the learning. Not just with how we view each other but also how we view ourselves and how to behave in that. Identity in Christ will be the foundation still standing even when everything else feels like its falling apart.

10) Pray to know and understand the Word of God better, so you can be better (John 17:17)-

Even though our spouse can make a lot of mistakes, we must be in the Word of God to learn how to handle each situation including ourselves.

We can only be a better version of ourselves through the Word of God.

Learning what be patient and kind looks like in the eyes of the Father. Knowing what it means to sacrifice and die to ourselves so our marriage can be better. Examining the definition of purity now as a married person and keeping true to your vows even through temptation. If we don’t know what God expects from us, it will be very easy to fall and bring our house down with us.

Pray the Word of God will open up to you and bring you understanding and clarity for every situation. Build a relationship with the Lord so you can be aware and in tune with His voice. He is a Stunning Father and Redeemer Who will always have your good in mind even when it feels bad.

Prayer is the most powerful yet often underutilized weapon for marriage. We overlook it because we may not see fruit right away or we have not come to the FULL realization of what our salvation means and how that connects with our relationship to the Father. Prayer breaks down strongholds, it reveals what is in darkness, it brings peace when we don’t understand, it creates a relationship with our Creator so we don’t just use it to get something but to know the Great I Am.

It is the breath of our worship to the Almighty King.

I pray this will help start you on the right foundation or give you ideas on what else to pray for. Keep praying and you will see just how glorious marriage can really be.

Basket of Blessings,
Nina D.

How To Make Morning Devotional Time | Time Alone with God

     Nina Daugherty      12 Comments


**Please note this post may contain affiliate links and ads. If you purchase from these, the christianteendating.com ministry might receive a small commission from your purchase that will not affect your cost. Thank you for your support in this much needed ministry!** 

Time alone with God is vital and how to spend time with God alone can vary in different ways. There are creative ways to spend time with God and mornings are the best. There is something about the morning that brings hope. It’s a fresh beginning. The sun is rising and the light chases away the darkness hopefully along with any bad memories still lingering from the previous day.

It’s a chance to start again.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lament. 3:22-23)

What a beautiful privilege to meet with the Creator of the universe.

I will admit I was never a morning person. I still connect with the night owl in me but honestly the mornings have taken a whole new meaning. It’s meeting with my Creator before the rest of the house wakes. It’s sitting with a fresh cup of coffee, my prayer journal, His Word, and some silence.

There’s a special stillness in the morning that breathes life into a wary soul.

<Customize this printable by cutting and laminating to use as a bookmark>

By allowing myself this time, I’m asking the Lord to help me with my day. To give me the strength, the wisdom, and the protection. I ask Him because He is the Author of time. It’s His breath in my lungs.

Meeting with the Lord in the morning reminds us of second chances especially in the midst of hard seasons. How many of us have said, “I just want this day to be over”?

Why?

Because another day means another chance. There is something that shifts when the clock strikes twelve. It’s an opening to make different choices. All can be forgotten from that point on. You can reset, restart, and be refreshed.

Here’s a few ways to help you make devotional time a habit and priority in your life but especially in the mornings:

How to Spend Time with God Alone

1) Set the time beforehand and pray about it-

The actual morning time will look different for everyone. However, it should be right before you wake from sleeping a few good hours. Think about whatever “morning” time looks like for you but keep in mind it’s the time before starting your responsibilities for the day.

By setting the time beforehand, you are committing to it. You are mentally preparing for it.

Remember to pray about it. Ask the Lord to help you wake up. Ask Him what a good time is. Ask Him for help.

“Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.” (Prov. 16:3)

It can also be adjusted. There may be times where 5am is better than 4am or 6am is better than 7am. If you work overnight, then 2pm may be considered your morning. Be consistent on working at what time is best for you before throwing yourself into the day.

2) Prepare for it-

What will you be doing during this time? Prayer journaling? Reading a Christian devotional book? Worshipping with a set play list?

Preparing is essential to making sure your devotional time is being used efficiently and effectively. Otherwise, you’ll end up falling asleep time and time again. Distractions will easily come or you’ll feel anxious and throw it out like it’s a waste of time.

Do people know you are doing it? If you live with people, making them aware ahead of time can also keep people from interrupting. If you don’t have the option of doing that, then pray for your space and time. Ask the Lord to help you protect it.

Also, make sure you get enough sleep the night before so it doesn’t interfere with your mornings with Jesus. It’s a discipline to get up but also a discipline to go to sleep.

3) Make a devotional basket or space-

Do you have what you need for this time? Books, bible, pens, or anything else you will need?

By keeping your devotional items close at hand, it will make for a smoother and quieter morning rather than rummaging through clothes or desk items trying to find what you need.

Click on this link for a video on, “How to Make a Devotional Basket”.

Some items can include anywhere from pens, bible, prayer journal, devotional books, Christian reads, tissues, chapstick, water bottles, planners, etc. Make it personal and keep your essential items all in one place.

By setting aside a special place or basket for devotional time, it helps keep everything organized, teaches family members or house mates you are in a special time (hopefully you won’t be disturbed unless it’s an emergency), and you will find yourself getting exciting or looking towards that place as a reminder of the amazing time you spend with God.

Devotional Time

Why is this important?

1) Direction-

God is the Eternal God which means He is already in your tomorrow.
“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.” (Rev. 22:13)

He knows what’s going to happen and what you will need to do to prepare for the day. He may speak to you during this time, prepare you through your praying and the reading of His Word, or refreshing you from trials from the day before.

He will give you the steps necessary to move or the peace to be still in your everyday dealings with life.

2) First Fruits-

First fruits are the first offerings given. In biblical times, it would be the first fruits of the harvest. It’s the best of the best.

“Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.” (Prov. 3:9-10)

Oftentimes, we think if we give our best we will end up with less or nothing. If we get up early, we will be even more tired for the day. If we give up any time, we will lose and get set back in our responsibilities for the day. However, God will provide abundantly.

God will always honor a heart that seeks Him.

It really is amazing to see the difference in my day when I give my morning to Him and when I don’t. I will always have less energy (energy like physical not in a New Age sense) when I don’t meet with Him in the morning but when I do spend time with Him I see a significant change in my everything.

I can still feel tired but it would be more because I didn’t honor God the night before by getting to bed early enough to not be exhausted for the morning.

I look at my morning as my first fruits of the day. Even though I don’t feel my best, I am dedicating the first part of the day to the One Who gave it to me.

3) Relationship-

Every relationship needs to be cultivated.

It can feel awkward at first. It can feel tedious or insignificant. It might take work. A lot of work. Just like with anything worth building in life, the fruit produced won’t be like any other.

Instead of feeling drained, you will feel revitalized. Instead of feeling like you want less, you will yearn for more. You will look forward to it. You will fight for it.

We are talking about the ability to commune with the Creator of the universe, the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and the Helper of our souls.

Most people will cultivate things in their life that don’t even matter and won’t have the wisdom to know. Let’s use our time wisely and it begins at the foot of Jesus Christ.

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)

Devotional time needs to be the first and last item on our to-do list. We don’t have the luxury to miss out on what God has for us. We will leave our days feeling empty and frustrated which can lead to a recipe for emotional disaster.

I pray this helps you to set your life on a firm foundation starting with your mornings.

Baskets of Blessings,
Nina D.

Christian Singles Advice: Christian Single Woman Struggles

     Nina Daugherty      Leave a Comment

Updated: January 24, 2019

Christian Singles Advice Christian Single Woman Struggles #christianteens #christianblogs #christiandating #christiansingles #christiansingleness #christianyoutuber #christianblogger

Christian Singles Advice: Christian Single Woman Struggles

Christian singles advice are a tool for helping navigate Christian single woman struggles. I have rounded up some guest posts from some awesome Christian bloggers who were willing to share their posts on topics aimed at the single heart or for young people in general. They are some great reads for those of you who need direction in their life.

<<Click Here to Watch Youtube Video>>5 Prayers for Season of Singleness Youtube Video #christiansingles #christianyoutube #christianblogger

Whether you are single or not, young or young at heart, you will find these messages can speak to different areas of your life or someone else’s.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5)

The beautiful thing about God’s kingdom is that it has many voices.  I pray as you read the words and get a taste of the lives of these women you will be able to take something with you as it pertains to Christian singleness and apply it to your life.

CLICK on the LINKS in this post to be transported to the messages and hearts of these authors who have poured out their words to share their experiences and give Christian singles advice for the Christian single woman struggles.

Remember to share because you never know who it can also help!

How to Be Happy While Living the Single Life

By: Shanique

http://www.rocksolidfaith.ca/waiting-lord-single/

What I Wish I Knew (Part 1): Advice I Would Give Young People

By: Amber Nash

https://ambernashblog.wordpress.com/2018/02/07/what-i-wish-i-knew-part-1-advice-i-would-give-young-people/

What I Wish I Knew (Part 2): Advice I Would Give Young People

By: Amber Nash

https://ambernashblog.wordpress.com/2018/02/15/what-i-wish-i-knew-part-2-advice-i-would-give-young-people/

Four Truths for the Single Woman in Need of Love

By: Chioma

https://chiomaoparadike.com/four-truths-single-woman-need-love/

Why Being Single Doesn’t Mean There’s Something Wrong with You

By: Ashleigh Rich

http://ashleighrich.com/2017/11/06/why-being-single-doesnt-mean-theres-something-wrong-with-you/

 

6 Mistakes Single Ladies Make | Christian Dating Advice for Single Women

By: Nina Daugherty/NinaSlay4Christ

6 Mistakes Single Ladies Make | Christian Dating Advice for Single Women Youtube Video #christianyoutuber #christiansingles #christianblogger #christiansingleness

7 Things Not to do as a Single Woman | Christian Single Advice

By: Nina Daugherty/NinaSlay4Christ


7 Things Not To Do as a Single Woman Christian Single Advice #christianyoutuber #christiansingle #christiansingleness #christiandatingadvice #christianteens

I pray you find all this Christian advice for the Christian single woman a blessing. Please let us know in the comments if there is a topic you would like to see covered.

Basket of Blessings,

Nina Daugherty

10 Lies The Devil Tells Teens

     Nina Daugherty      8 Comments

10 Lies The Devil Tells Teens #christianblogger #christianblogs #christianteens #christianyoutuber

10 Lies The Devil Tells Teens

Updated: January 22, 2019

There are many lies of the devil especially to teens and these are just some of them. Hello my beautiful people! Warning: This is going to be a REAL post. No holding back! One of the reasons why I started working with teens was, well honestly, its because I still felt like one. I still remember a lot of the issues I went through, the feelings I had, but most of all I remember the lies I listened to.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8).

That someone is you! I see people protecting their book bag or purse better than they do their soul, their future, their calling. Wait! Now before you leave in a humpf because you think I’m some crazy Puerto-Rican Christian (I mean I am sometimes but I prefer the word zealous…loll!) who has no idea what she’s talking about, hear me out.

Anything I say here is solely because I want you to experience the life Christ died for you to have. I have no other motives.

There is an enemy who wants your life but won’t always come out in the most obvious ways but in little ways like inspirational quotes, sayings, and books that help to slowly transition your thinking from biblical to satanical. Now are all inspirational quotes and books satanic? No. How do you know the difference? Easy, does it match what my God says in the bible?

If we start using these non-biblical statements as our life motto, it will direct and affect our behavior in very negative ways.

I see people quote Marilyn Monroe all the time and I’m shocked. She is not someone whose life I want to emulate so why would I quote her? Her way of thinking took her to path I’m sure she didn’t even imagine would be her fate. It makes me sad and I don’t want others to just be blinded by the glamour. So how do we protect ourselves?

I know it can feel like as a Christian we are so restricted and what’s the big deal? You’re so extra with this Jesus business. Well He was extra with me when He died on that cross! That was the definition of extra. Are there times to pull up your hair and put your feet up? Are there times when you can enjoy sex?

Absolutely, but those times come after obedience not before.

The devil will have you believe that you are enjoying those things for a long time. Until one day, how far he took you and far you wanted to go start to blend together so much so that you don’t know which way is what.

One day, I remember looking at myself in the mirror and not recognizing the person I once knew. The girl staring back at me had a dark covering over her, she looked dirty, disconnected, and not at all what I thought she would be. At the time, I had no power to change it. However, the Lord came into my life, I made changes, and I never once saw that person again and don’t ever want to.

Here are a few of the lies I listened to. You may recognize some. You may disagree with some. However, let the bible be your guide, your compass for the direction the Lord has for your life.

No matter how far one goes, one step of repentance erases a thousand steps of disobedience and because of His sacrifice you are immediately brought back to the throne of His grace.

Don’t ever let the statement, “Jesus died for your sins”, lose its mighty and life changing power in your life. How blessed are we to have such a gift?

Lies of the Devil

Lie #1: “You are young; you can do what you want!”

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I find no pleasure in them” (Eccl. 12:1)

When you’re young, you don’t realize that the habits you create now will carry over into the rest of your life. If you get an incurable STD right now, guess what? It will affect your body for the rest of your life. If you take drugs now, guess what? You won’t stay young forever and in fact it will start to age your body faster than anyone else. It will also affect the rest of your life. These are just a couple of examples.

God is calling you to remember Him NOW so you can be at peace LATER.

Yes, you are young but use the energy, the “I can do anything” attitude, and ideas to further the Kingdom of God not to further the attack the devil has against your life. Both God and Satan have a plan for your life. Which one do you want to follow?

Lie #2: “You’re going to party in hell with the devil and all your friends.”

“The Son of Man will send out His angels, and they will weed out of His kingdom every cause of sin and all who practice lawlessness. And they will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” (Matt. 13: 41-42)

Satan DOES NOT want to party with you.

He wants to utterly destroy you. Am I trying to scare you? Yes! Hell is a scary place and people don’t want to preach about it anymore because it doesn’t make people feel good. It shouldn’t! Satan doesn’t want to party with you! He wants you to suffer. If he had all access to your life right now, he would destroy it in the most horrible way possible AND everything you love including your friends.

You don’t like the idea? Good! You shouldn’t. If you still think you’ll take your chances, it’s a horrible chance.

We can’t even take all the evil we see in the world and we think we can stand a chance in dealing with Satan directly.

No, choose Jesus Christ! “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him” (Psalm 34:8). Doing it the devil’s way I got an STD, an abortion, an abusive relationship, amongst many other things. However, doing it God’s way I got so many blessings I can even count them. I look around me all the time and think I should’ve died. He’s amazing! Satan doesn’t want you because he likes you. He wants you because he wants to personally destroy you because God loves you. Think of him as the jealous ex-girlfriend. Choose Christ! He died for you because that’s how much He loves you.

Lie #3: “Sex is no big deal.”

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Heb. 13:4)

We live in a society where marriage is not honored at all. It’s mocked, downplayed, avoided, you name it. It’s lost its honor. Again, Hollywood has done a great job displaying sex as doing whatever you want, whenever you want, with whoever you want.

However, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, then you are called to give marriage honor because GOD holds it in honor.

It was His original pattern all the way back to the beginning. Marriage! Not a one-night stand, not the walk of shame, not “How many people can I sleep with?”, or “Who can I use to get what I want?” We think God is trying to take away our fun because He won’t let us do what we want. Having an STD is not fun, just FYI. Regardless of the what the Valtrex commercials want to tell you, where they show people frolicking in the fields of daisies with puppies and rainbows. Do you really think Jesus died so you can have less than best? An STD? Be someone’s maybe and never a yes? Can God turn ALL THINGS even STDs for your good? Yes! But why go that painful route?!

Boundaries often seem like restrictions until you see what it has saved you from.

Lie #4: “You have time.”

“How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” (James 4:14)

I think we all know someone who was/is “gone too soon”. We expect people to live to 80 or 90 years old. Whenever a young person is taken from this world, its considered a tragedy. Why? Because they never got to live their life.

I say an even greater tragedy is living a long life and given the power and opportunity from Christ to transform your life for greater purpose and not doing it.

I once heard the definition of hell is meeting the person you were supposed to be. People think they can accept Christ right before they die or when they are older, AFTER they’ve done everything they’ve wanted to. Do you know how many people are living with incurable diseases, drugged out, on the street, etc. all because they wanted to “live” their life? All because something “fun” became their god and was a terrible god at that. There’s also getting everything they wanted yet feeling completely hollow, unsatisfied, and alone because nothing can satisfy the way Jesus can. What kind of living is that? Can we even call it living?

Lie #5: “Be wild and free.”  

“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” (Gal. 5:13)

How about, “Be zealous for God”? My professor defined zeal as a “jealous passion”. I love that! If you have ever felt jealous for someone, you know the fire that burns within. This is the kind of fire God wants from us for His glory. Use that fire to ignite the passion that will force you to move. Use your freedom to feed the homeless. Use your freedom to speak to those friends who need life breathing words. Use your freedom to love someone in the best way you can.

We become more free because we are working out of the power and strength of Jesus Christ rather than our own.

The damage we can do for the Kingdom of God is immeasurable. So rise up, warrior! Use that freedom, for His good instead of your downfall.

Lie #6: “No one cares.”

“And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” (Matt. 10:30)

This is a statement from our Savior (if you feel like He isn’t your Savior yet, He can be…just say the words…Lord Jesus I want you to be the Lord and Savior of my life…done! Now walk that walk babyyyy!). If He cares to know the amount of hair you have on your head, HAIR, then trust me when I say He CARES. Have you ever had a stuffed animal collection, rock collection, any collection in general, or a hobby? You probably know every detail, every fact, every name about it. Why? Because you care to know, you love it, it interests you.

He knows all about you and cares to know about you.

So even if the whole world seems like they don’t care about you or have even said it to your face. The Creator of the WHOLE universe says He cares about you. When you start to walk in that knowledge and in that truth, you will see that He will work on the rest and bring people that do!

Lie #7: “Nothing can touch you.”  

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom. 6:23)

When I first became Christian, I didn’t change my behavior right away. I was still sleeping around, dressing super provocative, amongst many other things. The weird thing was when I got my STD, I was shocked. Somehow, I really thought that because I was Christian I was covered. Nothing could touch me. Why did God allow that?

Well, I stepped out of His boundaries or rather never stepped in so I was at the mercy of Satan’s plan for my life rather than God’s will for my life.

Now I’m not saying that God couldn’t intervene because at any point He could’ve but there comes a point when He needs you to choose to obey out of love for Him (this is not to turn into a theological debate because there’s so much more to this statement then there is room for in this post). Don’t come to this realization when it’s too late.

With STD’s and sleeping around, it’s not IF but WHEN.

Also, death comes in many forms. Death of a relationship, death of dreams, death of self-esteem, death of children, and sometimes death itself. But with God, there can be so much more to life and eternity. Choose life now.

Lie #8: “All paths lead to God.”

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).

In America, (I can only talk in this context because this is the one I am familiar with) we have so many options that the idea of having only one option into heaven is insulting. We have the availability to send things back, get refunds, exchange goods for something better, etc. WE think we can carry this same mentality into eternity.

The truth we live in is, HE is THE way.

You will find yourself chasing many gods in this life and be left empty. You will only to find yourself face down in front of the One True God either thanking Him for salvation at the end of your days or begging Him for second chance when it’s too late. I read somewhere this quote, “I rather live as if there is a God and find out there isn’t one then to live as if there is no God and find out that there is.” Even as “inspirational” as this sounds, we must work out of knowledge:

I KNOW there is a God. Therefore, my steps are determined by this fact.

If you are a believer, you should know this too. I don’t know about you but I choose to live in the abundance of His love because it is so much sweeter than anything I have ever known.

Lie #9: “You have no purpose.”

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jer. 29:11)

When there are plans, that means you have purpose! If He didn’t have a plan for your life, you wouldn’t be here. It’s as simple as that! I don’t care if people called you a mistake, an accident, not wanted, or whatever garbage they want to throw at you. It DOES NOT CHANGE the fact that GOD spoke you into existence, has a plan, AND purpose for your life.

It’s one thing to not know what your purpose is versus thinking you have none.

God says, “Ask and it will be given to you…” (Matt. 7:7) Ask Him what your purpose is and PAY ATTENTION! Shut those voices out of your head, keep your eyes open, listen to the nudging’s in your heart, and look for opportunities.

We usually get an idea of what our calling is when there’s a burden for a particular thing laid on our hearts. For example, I remember just wanting to talk to teens about purity and sharing my story. One day I heard a radio ad for a “True Love Waits” seminar the NEXT day, my schedule divinely opened up, I had the means and the want, so I went for it and the rest is history. You have PURPOSE. Yes, you do! Run to the open door.

Lie #10: “It’s/it was your fault.”

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Heb. 4:16).

I don’t know what this is going to look like in your life. It could be rape, abuse, being severely ignored, or left by a parent or both parents. Can I release you by saying, “It’s not your fault”? There is evil in this world and it comes in many horrible forms.

You may have many questions as to why God allowed it. Those are questions only the King can handle and answer. He wants your honest questions so He can give you healing answers.

I remember having these types of questions regarding my past especially my childhood. He cared about them, loved me, and answered me tangibly. Relationships come by being relational. He is a relational God. It will only make your love for Him stronger when you allow Him into those deep hearted questions and allow Him to provide the healing salve for your wounds. Yes, it is possible. No, it wasn’t your fault.

This post was supposed to be posted like 8 days ago and it started with 6 lies. However, the Lord just kept giving me more to write about and trust me there’s still many more lies the devil will tell you in your lifetime. This is not an exhaustive list. I was even hesitant to write this much but I know that if God wanted me to write it, then it was for one of His children who desperately needed to hear it.

I also pray that if you don’t have Jesus Christ in your life that you would ask for Him to be part of it. There are no prerequisites to salvation. You just ask Jesus Christ to become Lord and Savior in your life then just watch Him show up and show off in your life. Keep your eyes open, your King is on His way.

<<Check out these other posts>>

Moments with God: 4 Questions to Ask When You Feel Like God is Far Away

Are You Emotionally Stable for a Relationship?: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself

 

Basket of Blessings,

Nina D.

Image 1: Photo by ronaldo-oliveira-436436.jpg on Unsplash

Image 2: Photo by Julian Lozano on Unsplash

Image 3:  Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Tips for Christian Dating: 7 Tips on How to Set Boundaries

     Nina Daugherty      6 Comments

Tips for Christian Dating 7 Tips on How To Set Boundaries #christianteens #christianblogger #christianblogs #christianyoutuber

Updated: January 22, 2019

Tips for Christian Dating: 7 Tips on How to Set Boundaries

Tips for Christian dating can help in the sometimes grueling process of Christian dating. One of the questions that gets asked a lot is, “How do I set up boundaries?” Setting up boundaries is extremely important because everyone has to be on the same page with each other. I know it was one of the elements that helped my hubby and stay on track with our goal to stay sexually pure throughout our dating relationship.

It was something we could point back to when challenges arrived. If we didn’t do that, there was a huge possibility that our plans would’ve failed.

Setting boundaries helps your relationship start off on the right foot and keep your focus heavenward rather than bedroomward (I just made that word up…it’s okay…it’s going to happen a lot..loll). Boundaries are going to look different for everyone because we are all in different places either geographically or spiritually. Like my Youth Pastor said on a similar topic, “Modesty is contextual; purity is non-negotiable.” It’s the same thing with boundaries.

I know when I was dating my husband I not only had to set boundaries but I found as time went on and feelings grew I had to reset some boundaries too. For example, when we first started dating, sitting on the couch while watching a movie was no big deal. Six months later it became a big deal because now we were more comfortable with each other and we fell in love.

Sexual purity is a journey not a destination.

Sometimes you may stumble, veer off course, get lost, get found (no not Paper Towns..loll), get tired, etc. but decide you will prevail and you will! So here we go!

7 Christian Dating Tips on How to Set Boundaries

Christian Dating Tip #1: Know your boundaries.

Before you ever get into a relationship, talk out boundaries with a trusted Godly family member, friends, Pastors, mentors, or anyone who is a supporter of your decision.

Write them down for future reference, know what they are and look like, even have your people to test you on it.

The question is often asked, “Well how far is too far?” I say imagine your boyfriend or girlfriend asking you the same question in regards to their actions with another person. Think about how you feel when they ‘Heart’ someone else’s IG picture, laugh a little too loud at their jokes, play fight, hold hands, constantly compliment, and flirt. We get mad at those things so imagine what God feels like when you flirt with the devil.

“How far is too far?” More like, “Is it worth more than what Jesus did for you on the Cross?”

Don’t play with this question either. It’s easy to get into a tug of war with words and limits but remember He was serious about our love for us. We need to be serious about our love for Him. I only say this because more than I want you to succeed, God wants you to succeed, and the devil wants you to fail in the most humiliating type of way.

When you know what boundaries are, you are able to talk about them, and defend them if needed. If you are already in a relationship, even if you feel like you already crossed some boundaries, reset yourself, sit down, do the steps above, then hit the Jesus ‘Restart’ button (yes you can do that and we all have one!) and get back on your sexual purity journey.

Christian Dating Tip #2: Say it right from the beginning!

If there is ANY inkling that you and the other person have feelings for each other, there is potential for a relationship, or any other feelings that is a step out of the friendship zone then let them know immediately that you are waiting for marriage to have sex. I did this the first time my hubby and I hung out alone. I let him know in a very indirect way what my intentions were so if his intentions weren’t aligned he was able to go somewhere else because it wasn’t happening here!

Honestly, everyone should know where you stand because it won’t come as a surprise to anyone.

When this happens people will do the work for you and warn the person ahead of time so may not even need to feel awkward about bringing it up but just be confident in answering questions.

Be proud of it too! Sometimes people don’t want to say anything because they are embarrassed.

If YOU are proud, confident, know your worth, know what you want, AND will defend your stance, then people will grow to respect it as a part of you.

Defend it! Defend it like a Mama Bear with her cub! Growl, growl, scratch, GROWL!

Christian Dating Tip #3: Make a game plan.

Decide now the dos and don’ts of your dating. For instance, make it a rule not to go into each other’s bedrooms even if your parents say its ok. I remember going over my boyfriend’s houses when I was a teen and their parents being totally ok with us being in a bedroom, with the door locked, and giving us privacy. I’m sure you already know the problems that came from that. Even if they say ok, say “No way”! I know that was corny but it’s going to happen a lot in my writing so get used to it (and still love me..please..loll)!

Also, write them down so you both can go back to it! Make a list and check it more than twice (I warned you…the corn is real people!). Add to it, if you need to but definitely have a starting game plan.

Christian Dating Tip #4: Ask people to help you.

I had a friend who was in her twenties and asked me to help her with purity by texting her every few minutes or so because her fiancé was coming over to her apartment to watch a movie. So I did! Every few minutes to an hour I would text and then we had an honest conversation when he left. She wanted to know someone was holding her accountable and trusted I would follow through.

Ask those around you who support your decision to stay pure NOT the ones that are going to support you in the opposite direction, you know who those people are.

Stay FAR away from that influence. Genuine people who genuinely want you to succeed don’t mind helping!

Christian Dating Tip #5: Check in with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

This simply means to check in and see if you two need to make adjustments to your boundaries, where you are going to for support, what are your goals, and the reasons behind your wait.

These will all help you reset your focus and remember why you are on this journey to begin with.

I remember when my husband and I were within one month of getting married we decided to not kiss anymore because it became too tempting and we had our goal in mind. It was difficult but when it came to “You may kiss the bride” it was definitely worth the wait! Yaowwww! #marriageswag (Im infamous for this hashtag in my circle..and trust me it is definitely a thing).

Christian Dating Tip #6: Write down purity scriptures (even the scary ones).

This helps for a number of reasons. First, it will remind you of God’s commandments. Yes, He wants you to wait until marriage. Yes, there will be consequence even in the context of forgiveness if you decide not to. It is what it is! Second, it will help you battle the devil, truth against lies.

The devil WILL be making an appearance so might as well be prepared.

Third, it helps give you encouragement and direction for your purity journey. Fluffing your spiritual feathers always feels like a breath of fresh air. Lastly, its scripture! It never hurts to keep the promises of God memorized especially when your bible just happens to be in the other room. (Quick Tip: Buy a bunch of bibles and put them in all the rooms in your home where you like to visit the most so there’s never an excuse!)

Christian Dating Tip #7: PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!

You can do ALL thing in Jesus Christ who gives you strength! (See Philip. 4:13) Pray about it in the morning! Pray about it in the evening! Pray about it at suppertime! (This sounds similar to a commercial and I’m dying trying to figure out which one but I can’t Google it right now; I’m writing to you!)

Pray and remember the key words are IN JESUS CHRIST! If it wasn’t for Him, I wouldn’t be talking to you today! He WILL give you the strength because He has given you the Holy Spirit. One part of the fruit of the Spirit is self-control (See Gal. 5:22-23). So I’m sorry but if you or someone who is a believer in Christ tries to say, “I just can’t control myself!”, you or they are a Liar Liar, pants on fire! You have Jesus, you have the Holy Spirit, you have self-control!

 

I pray this helps you in your journey. If you have any questions or want me to add further detail to any of the tips above, let me know and I’ll gladly do that for you. I pray for protection over you in your journey of sexual purity. I pray you and your boyfriend or girlfriend will see this not as a burden but as a heavenly challenge that you are both gladly accepting because at the end of the day it’s about love, it’s about Christ, and it’s not just about sex.

 

Baskets of Blessings!

Nina Daugherty