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christianteendating.com

the "how to" ministry on love, life, and purity

Christian Dating Tips | 5 Questions to Ask Before Going on a Date

July 6, 2018      Nina Daugherty      7 Comments

Christian Dating Tips 5 Questions Before Going on a Date #christianteens #christianteenblogs #christianblogger #christianyoutuber #christiandatingtips #christiandating

Christian Dating Tips | 5 Questions to Ask Before Going on a Date

Christian dating tips can be difficult to find but you’ve come to the right place. There are many stages of Christian dating and this is one of them. It can be really exciting finally getting the chance to date someone especially if you have had your eye on them for a while or have been single for a while. The idea of finally being able to interact with someone at a more intimate level can be too tempting to pass up.

Are you ready for when the time comes?

I remember the first time my hubby asked me to hang out. At the time, I thought it would be with a group of friends but turns out it was just him and I. When I realized it was just him and I, I was nervous. I was also excited. I was nervouscited (my teen made that one up…although I’m pretty sure it’s might’ve been around already).

<Click the Link to watch!>

Even though I was surprised we were hanging out alone. That same night I had a conversation with him, indirectly but directly talking about purity, intentions, and what I wanted for the future. I wanted to make sure we were on the same page because even though we were friends for a while this was a conversation we never had. If he wanted more than what I was going to give him, then he could leave now and we can go our separate ways in that aspect.

“A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.” (Prov. 22:3)

[click_to_tweet tweet=”Preparation is key in staying pure. @ninaslay4christ” quote=”Preparation is key in staying pure. @ninaslay4christ”]

Somewhere between the sparkles in the eyes and butterflies in our stomach, we get lost. As if we’ve been transported to a world where only fairy tales exist. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of love stories. I love romantic movies. I love hearing how people met and knew the other person was the one they wanted to be with. However, we can’t get so caught up in feelings that we forget to use our brain.

Questions help evoke conversation. We should ask them and ask the often.

They allow you into the mindset of the other person. We learn of their intentions, motivations, and plans they want to involve us in. It helps communicate your stance as well. If we are afraid of having a conversation, then we must take time to reflect and ask God, why? Is it fear? Loneliness? Not trusting the Lord has His best in mind? Impatient?

“I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I set your rules before me.” (Psalm 119:30)

We want to start a Godly relationship not just any relationship.

When we date someone, we are investing our time and feelings. It’s an investment, if lost, we can’t get back. We want to at least know we did our best to set the right foundation. Otherwise, we will be kicking ourselves later.

Every step is important. Just one step away from God can lead to a thousand steps of disobedience.

“As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,” (1 Peter 1:14-15)

Matters of the heart are important. Who we choose as a partner can either honor God or honor yourself. Just FYI, we make terrible gods. Here are a few questions to get the necessary conversation started so you can make a wise decision:

<Click to Print!>

Christian Dating Tips | 5 Questions to Ask Before Going on a Date

1) Are you a Christian and do you go to church?-

I can easily add a few more questions like, “How long have you been a Christian? How involved are you in church? Where do you go to church?” Denominations matter too. Why should we care? Well, what does God say about it?

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”(2 Cor. 6:14)

It’s very difficult for anyone to understand our love for Christ if they themselves don’t have a relationship with Him. It will cause division maybe even causing you to choose. Wouldn’t you rather enjoy Jesus Christ with your significant rather than fight with them about it? What if they try to keep you from bringing your future kids or kids you may have now? Are you going to chance the souls of your future children?

It’s better to find out now before your feelings bring you farther than you want to go.

2) What are your future plans?

You may be surprised to hear what they are. Is it something you want to be involved in? If they want to be a missionary in a different country, are you okay with that? It’s not wrong to have different aspirations but you both don’t want to be a hindrance to each other concerning God’s plans for your life.

Just because you are both Christian doesn’t mean you are meant to be together.

You may have very different ideas on what you want to do and how you want to go about it. Asking these questions ahead of time will help you plan. It can also help you pray. “God is this what You want for me? Should I be a part of this?”

The other aspect to consider is, do they have any plans at all? Or are they just planning to hang out? Have someone else provide for them? Is it all about partying and having a good time? Are their future plans healthy?

Having future plans and dreams are definitely a sign of spiritual health.

The Lord will always grow us. We are not called to stay stagnant. With growth, comes dreams, plans, and motivations to be better.  If they don’t have plans, that’s definitely a red flag.

3) Are you seeing anyone?

You will be surprised at how honest people can be in revealing they are in fact involved with someone. Involved could be anything like, regularly going on dates with someone, on the verge of ending a long relationship, talking to a few people in an intimate fashion, being indecisive on who they want to be with, or it being purely physical.

Romantic emotions, intimacy, and anything else aside from a platonic friendship between a man and woman can be considered “involved”.

It can be very flattering to think we are better than someone else so naturally why wouldn’t they “rather” be with us. The problem with this is your mindset and theirs. One includes pride and the other discontentment.

Believing there will always be something better will always keep them searching.

We are called to be a decisive people. “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matt. 5:37) The Word of God literally says, “anything beyond this comes from the evil one”. It is not Godly to keep people guessing. To keep them on an emotional leash. Therefore, if you find out someone is “involved” with someone else, then keep it moving! Otherwise, you will find yourself becoming enslaved to someone else’s pride.

Confusion is not a spirit from the Lord. He is a God of order. Clarity is part of order.

4) Why do you want to date me?

Again, questions may bring about answers you may have not known until much later. The answer to this question may also be shocking. People’s intentions aren’t always what we think they are. Sometimes, people can be really good at hiding impure intentions but other times people are so deep in sin they don’t even hide it anymore.

Their answer could range anywhere from, “I want your body. You’re so beautiful. I like the way you dress. I want to see what’s under those clothes. I just want you to be next to me.” Look for answers that are just physical. These are red flags. If the only answers they can come up with is aimed at physical touch and your body, then you can be sure that’s all they want.

[click_to_tweet tweet=”Being attracted to someone is not the problem, being lustful towards someone is. @ninaslay4christ” quote=”Being attracted to someone is not the problem, being lustful towards someone is. @ninaslay4christ”]

There is definitely a balance. God made some beautiful creatures. My husband is one of them where I feel like the Lord just showed off with him. However, we all know people in our life who are stunning but their personality/character is horrible. If my husband was a conceited abusive person, I would not have entered into a relationship with him. Beauty cannot be the only trait we are concerned about.

[click_to_tweet tweet=”“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Prov. 31:30)” quote=”“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Prov. 31:30) @ninaslay4christ”]

Fearing the Lord brings about a character that is above all. It is the foundation by which we point to God Who is higher than ourselves. Anytime we reflect the Lord in our lives it will surpass anything physical because He is a beauty to behold within Himself.

Again, questions will help reveal people’s true intentions. If we don’t ask, we may not know.

5) What’s your idea of a date?

I don’t know if you suffer from “rosy colored glasses” syndrome but I definitely do. This means when you think about things it’s usually covered with puppies and rainbows. In my mind, things are way more positive than they usually should be. My imagination and creativity can take over which may lead to major disappointment.

By asking, what’s your idea of a date? It can help prepare you for possibly a really uncomfortable situation. It can either be a situation you may be interested in but not fully comfortable with (even knowing what clothes to wear can make all the difference) or it can be one where you wouldn’t want to be involved in at all. This helps provide insight before ever entering into it. For instance, if their idea of going back to their place is their idea of a date, then you can say ‘no’ before ever entering their home.

Questions help you get a glimpse into their mind. It is wisdom to utilize this tool.

Knowing ahead of time what they plan to do with the time you are giving them, will not only help you decide but also keep you safe. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know what you are getting yourself into. If someone is getting annoyed with your questions, then that should be a question in itself. Why are they getting upset? Don’t be deterred by their annoyance and avoid asking questions altogether.

Christian Dating Tips

You don’t owe anyone anything. 

Just because they asked, doesn’t mean we have to accept. We can say no and we can say no gracefully.

Remember, an invitation is just that. An invitation. Women especially feel like we have to accept because we don’t want to be looked down upon. We are afraid of the negative reactions. We naturally like to make people feel comfortable (it’s the nurturing instilled inside of us) and that’s a beautiful thing. Remember, God also gave us a voice. If we don’t like or agree to something, we can absolutely say ‘no’.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5)

God gave us the gift of our brain. It functions, it reasons, it thinks, it questions, and it can pray to God.

[click_to_tweet tweet=”Sometimes we get so lost in our heart, we forget to use our brain. @ninaslay4christ” quote=”Sometimes we get so lost in our heart, we forget to use our brain. @ninaslay4christ”]

How many times have we asked ourselves, “What was I thinking?” When the real questions should be, “Why wasn’t I thinking?” or “Why didn’t I pray about it?”

God wants to be a part of our lives and needs to be. Even if you got all the “right” answers but yet still feel like something is off. Holy Spirit is speaking where humans have not.He is saving you from something so be sure to listen to Him too.

Pray, pray, and pray. If you are confused, then do nothing at all. It’s better to just wait then to jump in and regret it later.

If you do say yes, check out this post on, “10 Questions to Ask on Your First Date.”

I pray this helps you in both preparation and decision making when it comes to dating.

 

Baskets of Blessings,

Nina D.

 

 

 

 

Nina Daugherty

Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn’t know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God’s Word is eternal and has no age limit!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Chidinma says

    July 10, 2018 at 2:39 AM

    I enjoyed reading this. I love number 2 especially.

    Reply
  2. Mihaela Echols says

    July 10, 2018 at 10:02 PM

    Yes yes yes! my husband and I were friends for three years but we still asked each other some tough questions before we started dating. It is so important to take it seriously and not as a game.

    Reply
    • Nina Daugherty says

      October 26, 2018 at 4:27 PM

      Totally! We are dealing with people not commodities! Thanks for sharing!

      Reply
  3. Edet says

    March 25, 2019 at 11:37 AM

    Wow! Great tips! I enjoyed reading every bit of it. Thanks & keep writing.

    Admin at https://www.ibloggospel.com

    Reply
    • Nina Daugherty says

      April 5, 2019 at 6:22 PM

      Thank you so much!

      Reply
  4. Heather Anne Grubbs says

    December 2, 2020 at 11:24 AM

    Love your blog! Keep writing.

    Reply
    • Nina Daugherty says

      January 4, 2021 at 10:27 PM

      Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I plan on it. Blessings!

      Reply

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Nina Daugherty

Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn't know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God's Word is eternal and has no age limit! Read my testimony...

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Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn't know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God's Word is eternal and has no age limit! Read my testimony here...

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Copyright © 2017 Nina Daugherty, www.christianteendating.com. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this material presented may be reproduced or used in any type of manner whatsoever without the prior consent and written notice from the author, except what is agreed upon with full credit given to Nina Daugherty and website, complete with link back to this site. The author, affiliated guest authors, and publishers shall have no liability or responsibility to any entity or person. We hereby disclaim all liability including without limitation liability for any consequential damages regarding any claim of loss or damage that may have been incurred, including allegedly, either indirectly or directly, originating from any of the information provided in emails, ebooks, blogposts, books, or any form of intellectual property.

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Happy Sunday! I pray we lift our voices to the hea Happy Sunday! I pray we lift our voices to the heavens and as we speak we will be reminded of Who God is, I pray every word will be a salve to our spirit, mind, body, and soul. I pray we will take time in His presence to be refreshed, renewed, and an anointing will fall fresh from heaven like manna to our souls. He hears us church! 🙌🏽🤗❤️🙏🏽✝️

Which of these scriptures do you feel more drawn to today? WRITE in the COMMENTS below 👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽and let us rejoice together! 

#shewritestruth #christianblogger #christianwriter #christianauthor #christianwriters #authorlife  #devo #faithblogger #christianblog #gritandvirtue #proverbs31woman #lesshustlemoregrace #butfirstJesus #Biblestudy #womenoftheword #coffeeandJesus #powerofprayer #intheword #Biblestudymoments #devotional #seekHimfirst #shereadstruth #morningprayer #wellwateredwomen #womensbiblestudy #goodmorninggirls #readthroughtheBible #butfirstJesus   #womenlivingwell #verseoftheday
How it started vs. How it’s going..if you asked How it started vs. How it’s going..if you asked the girl in the first pic that she would be the girl in the second pic, I never would’ve believed you. To be honest, there’s been a lot of tears, cries out to God, joy, and growth.

I love baptisms. I love hearing God’s testimony. I love hearing what God continues to do. The night I got baptized, a family member confronted me in the driveway of my house and started yelling at me, “Who do you think you are? What makes you think you can get baptized? You are a fornicator!” And I was. I was sleeping with my boyfriend at the time and I hadn’t fully grasped my salvation and the choice to walk my Christian life out according to His Word. However, I didn’t die that day. Well physically anyway and from that point on my life started to drastically change. He met me where I was but He did take my hand and said walk with me. Walk away from that life. Walk away from that identity. Walk away from that pain. And walk I did and walk I still do.

If you haven’t already, if you’re on the fence, go get baptized. He calls us to it.

We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. (Rom. 6:4)

#baptismsunday #biblejournalinglife #biblememes #bibleoflove #biblequote365 #biblereadingplan
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God confirms what has been spoken. Doubt hits us, God confirms what has been spoken. Doubt hits us, sometimes we want to run, sometimes we are scared, but God is so gracious, He will send Godly people, dreams, sermons, and scripture to confirm.

It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it. 
(Isa. 55:11)

He is still the God Who speaks. If He’s silent, what’s the last thing He said to you? So many times I’ve tried to run from my calling, so many times I went to God with my disqualifications, so many times I was discouraged to the point of tears, so many times and still so many times..what about you?

God thank you for reminding us. We fight. We forget. You stay. You remind.

COMMENT BELOW: What are you running from? How can we pray for you?

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#readthebible #readyourbible
Throwbackkk Thursday..I found this in my Study Bib Throwbackkk Thursday..I found this in my Study Bible..I look at the names and I think about everyone I’ve done ministry with..the beautiful people I’ve laughed, cried, helped minister with, and made memories!

The different names the Youth Ministry went through..the different teens I’ve encountered, some of who are married and have kids 🙈🙊

Positive: I’ve seen God work through the lives of those who were “troubled” teens.

Negative: I’ve seen the enemy work through the lives of the “perfect” Christian teen.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:7)

The moral of the story is, it doesn’t matter how you start but how you finish. Many have fallen away and many have grown greatly in the Lord. I know I want to finish well and I pray the Lord will never leave me to my own desires, what hell that would be. He has been too good to leave for anything the world tries to give. It will NEVER satisfy like HE can and does.

2nd Pic: What teens were most interested in for topics for small groups

COMMENT BELOW what has God done in your life? SHARE what you’ve gained from following Jesus Christ👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽 

#womenoffaith #womenofgod #womenintheword #bedeeplyrooted #propelwomen #givemeJesus #faithinspired #christianwife #gracemakers #beautyfromashes #pursuitcommunity #thepointedlife #communityovercompetition #thecaptivatingwoman #devo #lampandlight #christianyouth #christiancreative #christiansofinstagram #christianteens #christianteen #youthministry #christianblogs #christianblog #christiangirls #dailydevotional #faithblogger #christiancreatives #christianyoutuber #christianyoutubers
I am not ashamed. I am not scared. God has done to I am not ashamed. I am not scared. God has done too much. He has saved me from a lot. He is too real. His love is overwhelming, satisfying, full, and complete.

And blessed is the one who is not offended by me. (Matt. 11:6)

If the Gospel is offensive, it’s to remove that which is not of Him. I don’t want to be complacent Lord. I don’t want to lack what You can give. I want to be better. 

I want to spend my life pointing to You because You give what people can’t, You give what money can’t, You are what people are looking for and will not find anywhere else. Not in the bedroom. Not in a job. Not in a human. Not in a post. Not in their crush. Not anywhere but at Your feet, oh Lord!

COMMENT below how He has made your life better even in 2020 so we can REJOICE together! 👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽🙌🏽💪🏽👍🏽

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Where we are now and where we started (I flipped i Where we are now and where we started (I flipped it 🤣) In my dating history, I did many things wrong, but God..I should be dead somewhere with all my reckless behavior, but God..I thought no one would want me being the mess I was, but God..when you put your life in the hands of God and choose His ways instead of yours, His plan is always better.

This is why I stay preaching.

This is why I advocate for purity.

Purity still matters.

It’s hard to know if the person is a healthy match for you when you are tied to them in a sexual way. It binds you to them. It’s the reason why she won’t leave that person or he won’t leave that person. The bondage is strong.

But God.

Through Christ, Who strengthens you, “I  can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philip. 4:13) 

You can choose better. Do better. Leave for the better. Better is always CHRIST and what HE has for you.

In what ways has God proven to be better in your life? COMMENT below so we can rejoice together! 🙌🏽✝️💪🏽❤️

Motorcycle Pic 📸: @imthejam 

#shewritestruth #christianblogger #christianwriter #christianauthor #christianwriters #authorlife  #devo #faithblogger #christianblog #gritandvirtue #proverbs31woman #lesshustlemoregrace #butfirstJesus #Biblestudy #womenoftheword #coffeeandJesus #powerofprayer #intheword #Biblestudymoments #devotional #seekHimfirst #shereadstruth #morningprayer #wellwateredwomen #womensbiblestudy #goodmorninggirls #readthroughtheBible #butfirstJesus   #womenlivingwell #verseoftheday
United States of Anxiety..I read this somewhere..I United States of Anxiety..I read this somewhere..I think it was a title of a book and I thought to myself how anxiety infects the mind. Panic attacks, depression, worry, anxiety, it all attacks the spirit, mind, and heart of a person. How can we fight back?

What does the Word of God say?

There are times when we are called to enter into battle with those things of the world that seek to steal, kill, and destroy but what happens when it starts to do it to ourselves?

Pause. Take a break. Rest warrior of God.

One way we can combat anxiety and anxious thoughts is to DWELL in the Word of God. Focus on this scripture today and press into the work of the Cross. 

Rest in His promises. There are many.

We can’t battle if we don’t have strength. We find strength in Him. Spend time with your King today and rest in His loving arms.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matt. 11:28-29)

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There’s been a lot of loss this year but I’ll There’s been a lot of loss this year but I’ll tell you what I’ve gained. Talking to Youth about Jesus Christ has been my passion and I’ve devoted the last 14 years of my life to it. This year I became the Youth Director at my home church of 15 years.

Be the person you needed when you were young.

I needed someone to believe in me. I needed someone to tell me about Jesus Christ. I needed someone to tell me I had options. Real ones. Like choosing life. I needed someone to look past the attitude and help me. I needed someone to listen. I needed someone to give me the space to talk in a safe and very real way. 

Can you be that for a teen in your life? Can we preach Jesus Christ like their life depends on it? Cuz it does and their eternity as well.

Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! No one can measure his greatness. Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power.
(Psalm 145:3-4)

We have a Mighty God Who is still on the throne. I don’t apologize for my faith. I don’t apologize for my shout. I don’t apologize for my worship to the Lord because I still remember where He saved me from. I still remember when I was at my lowest, He bent low to whisper the words that gave me breath, “I want you.” 

I’m the most unlikely person to be “qualified” to do His work but when my Savior calls as difficult at times and as scary at times and as unknown at times, my answer is “Yes, Lord.” 

Yes, Lord.

How merciful You are.

How can I not give to others what You have given me?
 
Yes, Lord. I am Yours.

What have you said YES to even when it was challenging? Write your answer in the COMMENTS below and let’s praise God together👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽🙌🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

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What a relevant quote for today. There’s a lot h What a relevant quote for today. There’s a lot happening in the news and with my online ministry where I talk a lot about sexual purity, the questions often asked are, “Does God care about purity anymore?” “Isn’t this old-fashioned thinking?” “What does it matter?” Well let’s take a look at recent news with a famous Pastor..do you think it matters? To his wife? To his kids? To those witnesses? To the church?

Sin reverberates. 

Purity still matters.

It doesn’t stop when you’re married.

It’s not old-fashioned but God-fashioned.

Does it matter? Absolutely.

Stay in the Word of God. We are a forgetful people and we must be strengthened and reminded DAILY. 

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? (Jer. 17:9)

With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. (Psalm 119:10-11)

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Hi. I’m Nina. I’ve been a Christian Blogger si Hi. I’m Nina. I’ve been a Christian Blogger since 2012 and talk about sexual purity to teenagers. I became a Christian Youtuber in 2017 and now I’m a Youth Director at my church.

I love mugs like this one I got from @thedailygraceco ☕️☕️

I love autumn. I love being a Wife and Mom of 3 but most of all, I love Jesus Christ. I’m unapologetic about it because He saved me from an abusive relationship, from myself, and from more than I could ever know.

Welcome to my space. It’s a place where I bring truth and keep it real. Here’s to the rest of 2020 and how He will use us. For His glory! 🙌🏽✝️💪🏽❤️👍🏽

What has He done in your life that you’re grateful for? WRITE it in the COMMENTS below 👇🏽👇🏽😌🤗✝️

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